somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
