i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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