all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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