Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
