Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
