The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
