dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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