Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
