so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
