I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize