Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
