Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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