Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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