OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dignity is for republicans.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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