can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
