I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
