Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
