ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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