I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
id be glad to
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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