They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize