You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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