If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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