I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think I just sharted jello shots
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
