if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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