lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
