No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
