he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
