This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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