If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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