the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
