I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I smell stomach acid.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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