So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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