I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
