matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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