my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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