my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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