I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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