I'm drive I can fine osifer
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
