Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
