Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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