I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
