I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
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I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize