So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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