I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
