My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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