oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
