TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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