Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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