I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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