dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize