I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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