Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
