Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
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i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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