it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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