how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
