but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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