Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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