the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
tell me about the eggs
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
