do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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